Seconding this! I’ve been living with depression long enough that the coping mechanisms are automatic (for better or worse), so it’s easy to forget that not everyone may have had the time to learn them. (I’m guessing I may not be the only one?)

There’s a big overlap between ‘coping with dysphoria’ and ‘coping with depression’, but because I learnt the latter long before I became aware of the former, it never even occurred to me to offer advice on that topic!

Hi, closeted trans girl here… just wanted to say that I really hope you keep going - because I want to come out into a world with people like you, who carried the same weight as me and still made it to age 30 and beyond. That’s something I can only imagine in my best moments, so frankly you’re already my hero just for making it that far <3

I’m not DMing because I doubt I have much more to offer than my words here, but if you send me one I’ll probably get over myself and reply anyway :3 (may take a few days though, I’m the snail-mail type)

yessssssssss im so happy for youuu

I’m in a similar situation.

I tell myself I’m acting out of self-preservation, but it’s really just fear. I don’t have the courage to face the shit that happens to out trans people.

I do think that fear is justified given my specific situation, and I do think that if I can somehow manage not to go off the deep end for the next few… years🫠… I have a chance of getting myself into a safer and less scary situation, where I can hopefully start to live as myself.

…except I could be wrong - I could die tomorrow anyway, or the safety I’m seeking could cease to exist soon, or maybe I’ll just never find what I’m looking for unless I ignore my fear and dive headfirst into the unknown.

It’s hard. And I don’t have the answers. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. (And I felt less alone thanks to your rant, so don’t apologize.)

Hyprland’s community has a history of toxicity: https://drewdevault.com/2023/09/17/Hyprland-toxicity.html

Not a detransitioner specifically, but I am stuck in the closet for the forseeable future, so we might have some things in common 🥲

While I am not exactly a shining example of happiness and success, I have at least managed not to die by my own hand so far, which is not nothing, I guess.

There are basically two things that keep me going:

1. As long as I’m still here, I can fight.

The systems that keep me in the closet do not just oppress me, they oppress most of the world. Which means that there will always be people to fight alongside. Even if trans liberation isn’t their direct goal. Even if I have to hide my transness from them.

I may never become who I’m meant to be. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t still things worth doing. Everything counts.

2. I still have hope.

Consider that people during the Cold War lived in very justified fear of global nuclear armageddon. If I had lived through those times, I would never have believed that despite decades of fingers hovering over self-destruct buttons, the world would still survive. And yet, here we are.

I don’t know how, but maybe we’ll survive this apocalypse. Maybe someday it’ll be safe for me to transition. I intend to stick around to find out.

Good luck, and I wish you the best, fellow traveller. I’ve written on a similar note in another thread, maybe you’ll find it helpful: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/21727800/12811429

Holy heck, I’m going to be reading the shit out of that blog for the forseeable future. An experienced anarchist transfem writer? In MY dystopia?!?!?