I bought femme clothes from thrift stores. It’s cheap, I could swap out equivalent masc clothes that I didn’t anticipate needing. It got easier over time as a sense of style developed. I’m 3.5 months HRT and 90% of my clothing was purchased pre-HRT, no significant size changes yet. Exception: Bras were mainly purchased after.

For makeup, even in boy mode a little foundation and blush made me feel cuter. The key with makeup is subtlety. And a lot of foundation to hide shadow, if that’s a concern.

Finally, a skin care routine did wonders for me, especially once HRT began. I use CeraVe cleanser, moisturizer, and a Neutrogena retinol cream between them every other day at night, plus a Neutrogena sunscreen in the morning. It had super noticeable softening effects on my face within two weeks.

What helps me is: you can experiment with all this stuff without necessarily taking it out of your bedroom if you don’t want to. You can wash off the makeup. Or you might feel great and go out.

Good luck!

We all move at our own pace and there are good reasons!

I’d ask any femme friends if they would come over and do your nails. It takes about an hour. You don’t even need to mention gender. Base coat, color, then top coat.

Eyeliner pencil.

Or pick and choose from this very absolute-beginner friendly make-up video

The euphoria I got from my first application of foundation, eyeliner, and blush was marvelous.

Second suggestion: jewelry. A cute bracelet, subtle necklace.

If you haven’t gotten your ears pierced and want to, go to a piercing studio. If you have them pierced, dangly earrings!

Skin care routine! Cleaning and moisturizing your face every night is very femme.

Get your nails done. If you have a friend who can do it, do that. Or go to a nail salon, a basic polish will only be 20-40 bucks and you get to choose from hundreds of colours. Start with just your toes if you aren’t comfortable.

Pluck your eyebrows. You just need an eyebrow tweezer. Makes you look cleaner even if you’re still largely presenting masc.

Wear women’s underwear, boyshorts are a nice option if you’re not ready for a bikini cut.

Start getting rid of extra boy clothes that you don’t foresee yourself wearing in the future. It can help relieve a burden you didn’t even know was there.

Sorry, I’m 3 months in and these are some of the things that I’ve done. I’m full time, out at work and with family – I moved quickly I guess.

Congratulations!

On the topic of true trans being in childhood, I’m just figuring it out in my 30s. I do have memories of the feelings all the way back to when I was 4 or 5, which gives me relief, but also, who cares?

Even if someone’s gender identity changes when they are older, who cares if they transition? Who cares if they do it just because they think they’ll like it? Who cares if they do it just to try it out? Also, with non-binary folk and gender nonconforming folk coming out, it suddenly truly doesn’t matter if someone is “real” anymore. Our current understanding and categorizations just don’t cut it anymore.

I would have loved being able to grow up in this generation and having the chance to explore my gender. To say that kids don’t know or can’t tell is such hogwash – my brain has only ever pushed me in one direction on this topic and everything else has been conscious effort to fit into the box I was told to. Now, in transition, I’m finding people just want me to jump into the other box. Gender is much more complex than the binary makes it out to be and I think a lot of anti trans sentiment is over the fact that trans people make it clear that gender is very important and way more complex than society writ large makes it out to be.

Sorry for the rambling thoughts!

Hormones don’t stop beard growth.

Depending on the comfort level of your spouse, asking them to use their account would be best.

One of the forms of trust in Marketplace is how long the person’s Facebook account has existed, how many friends they have, and whether there are photos. If you create a burner account with no photo, no connections, and “Joined Facebook in 2024”, you’ll have a rough start.

I have had people show up who don’t match the account and they say it’s their partner or whatnot, never phased me.

If you do decide to make an account, push people to rate your interactions after you make a successful purchase. After 3 messages are sent back and forth, you get an option to rate the seller and buyer. Just tell them you rated them well and would like a rating as you are new to Marketplace.

I do hate Facebook for what it is, but even here in Canada where Kijiji was once king, Marketplace has taken over. I care about the used market (and the positive effects on the environment) too much to pass it up.

He’s probably the guy at my work who replies all to tell people not to reply all.