Yeah, now I’m just gonna get screenshots of this app.

We all fucking hate ourselves, that’s no excuse.

St Paul: Van full of awesome chicks again?

This isn’t fuck, marry, kill.

One of my old cats would only knock stuff off the bench if I was staring at him, so he’d carry on meowing like crazy untill I was looking at him, then he would just smash shit off the bench as fast as he could before I got to him then he’d just leg it away, laughing his ass off at me, I miss that little piece of shit.

You can, if you don’t knock a single thing off of it.

I thought Bud Light was gay woke shit, I can’t keep up with these idiots.

I came up with a concept for a cook book called " Eating the rich on a budget", just a collection of recipes with billionaire names instead of cuts of meat.

Diabeetus

Well done.

I’m my favourite person to talk to, we have so much in common.

Wait, we’re not supposed to send these? Might explain why i dontngat any bird pics back.

It will be if we believe enough, everytime we write everytime we get one step closer to everytime being correct, everytime a new word is added to the dictionary, it goes from not being a word, to being a word, everytime.

So it won’t be long till everytime is a word. It happens everytime, everytime.

Yeah man I’m pretty stoned, I guarantee I missed it for sure.

Nah you’re all good, just helping you along your journey, you seemed lost.

They could have at least changed it to the widely accepted “pew pew” .

I think you were going out that door over there.

Stand by your principles!

Also, you forgot to include the pseduo-witty comment.

Dude I’m stoned, im lucky I took the screenshot right.

I fully agree with them as well, its annoying as fuck, but I couldn’t miss an opportunity to be a dick.

As John Lennon found out, a man with both is even more powerful.