We could have had it as early as 1793, but the ship carrying the metric standards was attacked by pirates.

“What kind of polish did you use on this table? The sheen is ridiculous! Send a bottle of whatever it is back with Darth Maul”

The pace at my job is so damn slow, I only do about four hours of actual work in a 40-hour week. Most of my time is spent waiting for my boomer coworkers to do their jobs, I finish my work blazingly fast by comparison. I could ask for extra work to do, but nah. I keep getting good performance reviews and raises, and this is the most stress-free job I’ve ever had.

I feel the same way about Nude Descending a Staircase. Normally cubism or turn of the century modern art doesn’t do it for me, but for some reason I can just…stare at that painting. It’s oddly fascinating in a way I can’t fully describe. I want to get a print of it for my house.

I like that name a lot

Maybe he was an SCP

Your lateral velocity is changing. Change in velocity = acceleration. In fact, you’re now traveling in a circle, which requires constant acceleration towards the center.

When you turn the wheel, do you feel a g-force to the side? If yes, you’re accelerating.

BRAKE

IT’S SPELLED BRAKE

B-R-A-K-E

FUCK