Last time I went to use one of those stupid key kiosks, it was out of fucking keys. Not to worry though, some enterprising genius thought of a way for them to still make a sale in this case, and the best part is you never have to refill the blank keys!

When it’s out of keys, it instead asks you to just scan your key, enter your postal address, pay at the kiosk, and they’ll mail you the key simple as that!

Which means that somewhere out there, there’s a corporate database that knows exactly two things about you: what your house key looks like, and what your address is. We all know how careful corporations are with our personal data. I’d sooner make the key myself than give them that info.

$80b does not describe the figure that they put into Horizon Worlds, it’s the total of all R&D for their entire VR/AR ecosystem. The first VR headsets had to use screens that were designed for smartphones. Now, panel manufacturers fill custom orders of screens that are specifically designed to be used in VR. A lot of current-gen headsets are using panels that were custom made for a now abandoned meta headset. I could go on and on about the major innovations that they’ve brought to the medium, but it’s mostly nerdy shit that doesn’t sound particularly flashy. When the quest 2 came out, the controller tracking was so bad it would lose the controller’s position if it was near your face, so drawing a bow in VR was a crapshoot. Now, you can serve a ping pong ball behind your back. I don’t think most people realize how insane that is. The headset has no positional data for the controller if it can’t see it. They’ve gotten so good at predictive motion tracking using only IMUs that you can accurately hit a ball behind your back even when the controller is completely obscured by your body, and they did that all with software. There are dozens and dozens of similar small improvements that wouldn’t even be noticed by someone who doesn’t play a lot of VR, and many of them were incredibly complex engineering and software problems which are now solved.

Zuck’s still an evil bastard, and Horizon Worlds is a steaming pile of shit, but I’m a big VR nerd that’s been following the progress of the medium since before Facebook bought Oculus. I am so glad that Zuck was convinced that his metaverse idea was viable. It caused him to dump billions into R&D that would have taken years and years to develop organically. I promise you the entire medium of VR is now years ahead of where it would be if not for Zuck blowing all that money.

Plus now they’re seemingly pivoting to put all that R&D toward their perv glasses, which tragically seem to be catching on.

$80b for a shitty VR version of Facebook would be ridiculous, but that’s not all they spent it on. We went from $800 headsets that required an expensive gaming PC and tracking hardware set up around your room, to a $350 battery powered standalone headset that requires no external sensors and can play games like half life 2 without needing a PC at all within ~5yrs. That’s how they spent $80b.

This sketch is funny and everything, but I feel this part in my fucking soul.

I mean, it’s a perfectly functional free public tracker that can be thrown in with a handful of other free public trackers in prowlarr which when added together, cover about 98% of all my media needs. I don’t go to the pirate bay, but I would imagine my arr stack probably uses it from time to time.

Some shows are online before it’s even done airing because people have cracked the streaming platform and can download directly as soon as it drops. Hour long show that premieres at 9pm? If it’s popular, it’ll be online by 9:15.

YouTube started doing a thing for me a few days back where every video that I moused over for a few seconds counted as a view and went into my watch history. Only took me about 30 min to notice because my algorithm suddenly turned to shit and I was getting the most content-slop recommendations. I could actually tell something was off with my account they were so bad. Looked at my watch history and noticed like 15 videos I never watched. Removed all of them and it went back to normal, then I had to Google how to turn off mouseover autoplay to make it stop.

I’m literally about to go cook some regular bacon right now, but this is completely true in my book. I’ve had some pretty good vegan bacon before, but I don’t know what brand it was.

Just eating it by itself was only like mostly still pretty good in my book, but on a BLT or inside some pancakes, I’d be completely fine just switching. Actually, I’m gonna try to find out what kind it was.

Edit: It was MorningStar Farms veggie bacon. To anyone that thinks all vegan bacon is trash, I’d recommend you give it a try

Haha, it’s why I added the “we’re white” detail near the beginning. I knew that the waitress confirming 3 separate times would probably sound weird to anyone who’s not white.

I imagine that, at least for Americans, the reason spice is such a macho thing is because our food isn’t very spicy, so it’s more of a novelty for “sometimes” meals instead of just a standard part of our cooking. Our palettes aren’t used to it, and Americans especially will compete over anything. I definitely don’t want to compete with anyone when it comes to spice because I still want to enjoy my food. My ideal spice level is for the dish to be just a bit of a struggle at the end. If I shed a few tears with the last few bites, that was the right amount of spice for me.

As for the poop memes, depending on the meal, my b-hole can detect spice just as accurately as my mouth, and that is… not fun. If your digestive system doesn’t work that way then I envy you. One sufficiently traumatic “ring of fire” experience is enough to get some people to decide that spicy food is not for them. Personally, I’ll risk it if the food is amazing. That’s a problem for future me.

One time I was eating at an Indian restaurant that had a 5-star heat scale, and then “Indian hot” which was just another level beyond the scale. I ordered 3 star heat and my buddy ordered “Indian hot.” The waitress confirmed 3 times that was what he wanted (we’re white).

I was impressed that my friend was managing his meal pretty well so I asked if I could try it to compare. It wasn’t any hotter than mine. I’m sure the chef took one look at him and was like “I’m not remaking this dish when that white boy can’t eat what he ordered.” Not like my friend would’ve been a dick about it or demanded another dish, but yeah I doubt he could’ve handled the heat level he asked for. In the end, the food was great and my buddy didn’t feel cheated and didn’t destroy his guts.